40 Days of Yoga–Day 10
Art & Soul Yoga~Sayde
It took less than 40 days. I set out to practice everyday so I could make a clear decision about my work schedule. I knew I needed to fill the well and nurture myself. Plus, I love a good challenge.
A challenge it has been. Squeezing my practice into a day that is already packed with teaching and writing is tricky. It means planning ahead and packing lots of snacks. But at the end of each day, as I tuck myself in bed, I feel good. I have peace of mind knowing that whatever has slipped through the cracks, yoga hasn’t.
Aside from a dewy glow and a sense of peace, what happens when you do yoga everyday?
Brass balls. That’s what happens.
Author Benjamin Lorr quotes his friend Anna in his book, Hell Bent:
“I don’t know how the yoga works, but I do know that I started practicing and I grew a pair of brass balls. I kicked my alcoholic husband out of my life. I got a better job. It’s a power tool for taking responsibility.”
This is not an uncommon experience. Many people experience this when they give yoga a go for the first time. They try it for the physical exercise and it ends up changing their lives. But the funny thing is that when you return to a regular practice after a hiatus of whatever length, the brass balls come back.
I experienced this about 3 1/2 years ago. I was tending bar and acting as manager at an Irish pub in Long Beach when I began my 200 hour yoga teacher training. I knew I was growing in all kinds of ways but I had no idea that all the while my ability to tolerate bullshit was decreasing. I had a hard time faking a giggle for drunk old mean and sleazy bachelors. And then one day I up and quit. I truly thought I’d rather shoot my own knee cap than spend one more day pouring beer and faking a smile. No more.
It was unlike me. I didn’t have another job lined up. Although, I had oodles of skills I really wasn’t sure where I was going or what I was going to do next. I just kept going back to the mat.
I eventually found my way, as I knew I would. But growth occurs in cycles. You find your groove, get down and get comfy. Yet, you are not meant to stay there forever. You will transition. It will be uncomfortable, maybe even painful and difficult. But you must. And then, you’ll find your groove again.
This is where yoga steps in. I don’t think transitional phases of our lives should last years at a time. For some they do. That’s unnecessary.
Yoga helps expedite the process of moving from one place to another. It gives you brass balls so you can call bullshit on the things in your life that bring you down or steer you off course.
What’s really happening is this: yoga breaks down the walls separating you from yourself and your desires. That’s when you tap in and the path that lies before you is clear.
So, my brass balls came back. And I had to call bullshit on myself. I really thought that I could manage 2 writing jobs, 4 yoga classes, planning a wedding, my own creative projects, and still be able to connect with the people I love, take care of my boyfriend, and nurture myself. Yoga says, HA!
I’m still practicing everyday for forty days. I like the challenge. And it’s keeping me connected to me. But it only took me four days to figure out what I need to do. Now I have to ask the big questions that will get me to the next phase. Brass balls and all, at least I know I’ll be there soon.