I hate introducing myself to strangers, starting conversations, or mingling at parties. Making returns or scheduling appointments over the phone make me nervous. In fact, I dislike most phone calls. I avoid them when I can. It is entirely possible that I have accepted crappy insurance, additional fees, or the wrong colored something or other simply because I didn’t want to talk to anyone on the phone.
All this to say, speaking up isn’t my strong suit.
It’s funny though. When I was in elementary school (more…)
When I was a little girl, my mother told me I was ugly.
Before you get the wrong idea, let me say for the record that my mom is amazing; she is compassionate, creative, silly, and I think she did a phenomenal job raising me and my sister. She was in no way abusive.
She saw a little girl who was about to be handed her worth in the form of compliments. She knew the world would tell this little girl they loved her dress, her hair, and her shoes. So she did the only thing she could think to do – she did the opposite in hopes her little girl would learn not to measure her worth in such limited confines.
According to my mom, every time she told me I was ugly, (more…)
And then, just like that, I’m moving to Chicago.
I know. Crazy. But it really wasn’t “just like that.” This move began a long time ago.
Let me rewind a bit. (more…)
Most people don’t know this about me, but a very, very long time ago, I was an
actress aspiring actress. I performed in plays during high school and while in college. Then I graduated and decided to just keep auditioning and acting until I “made it.” Whatever that means.
I didn’t have a job lined up for me as I traipsed across the stage with a diploma in my hand. But that was okay because I had a plan: get a job waitressing in a really cool place about 3-4 nights a week where people throw money at you, spend days auditioning, land agent, nab break-through role, make lots of money, live happily ever after leaping from compelling role to compelling role.
Good plan. Here’s what actually happened: (more…)
There was this thing I wanted. And I wanted it bad.
Have you ever wanted something really bad? Like, you just keep thinking about how great life will be when you achieve it. And you imagine what you will wear, how you will act, and basically plan your entire future around this thing you really, really want? Anyway, that’s how bad I wanted it. So bad, I quit working towards it about seven years ago. (more…)
“I don’t really know what I want to do with my life yet…”
“I’m figuring it out…”
“I mean, I don’t want to be a (fill in the blank) forever. But this is fine for now…”
These are some of the things I’ve heard from young people. And it really gets me down. It’s a trend I wish I could break; they feel like they should wait until they know exactly what they want to do before they take a step in any direction. Years go by and they still haven’t figured out what they really want to do with their lives. Lost time. Lost potential. (more…)