life

The Thing About Depression – A True Story

| On Living Well

Who even cares about food?

I thought this. Me. Jazmine—lover of pasta and cheese and peanut butter. She, who can eat more popcorn in one sitting than a small movie theater. She, who eats hummus with a spoon, because… yum. The very same who loves breakfast more than any meal of the day, could suddenly get all the way to 1pm on coffee alone.

I would put my kiddo down for a nap and think, I better eat something. By then I was despondent and faint. I recognized that I was starving, but somehow I was okay with it, because the feeling seemed to match my mood. I mean, who even cares about food? (more…)

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Why I Love Chicago Weather

| On Living Well

I was born and raised in Southern California, so I’m spoiled when it comes to weather. I don’t like extremes. I complain about anything higher than 85 degrees and anything lower than 65 degrees. Rain is novel and splendid, but only for two days. Anything, longer than that is a little excessive, don’t you think?

It’s no surprise that summer in Chicago had me in a complete fit for weeks. It was horrid, sticky, and stormy and dear God, how do people function in this heat? I thought, I’ll just wait until the weather is nice and then we can go out. That didn’t work. The sticky and stormy would last for days and days with maybe one day of respite in between.

And now we are headed into the darkest days of winter. Somehow knowing this has sparked a better-get-the-fuck-out-there-and-enjoy-the-sun-while-you-can attitude in me. So, my miniature sidekick and I (more…)

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Thirties are the New Thirties

| On Living Well

Happy Birthday to Me!

 

Happy birthday to me!

Today, I’m 29 years old. Wow, where has the time gone?

Oh wait. That’s not right. Let me try this again.

Today, I’m 39 years old. Yes, that’s better. Thirty-nine.

You can understand why I’d be confused though. Because, 30s are the new 20s. And 40s are the new 30s. And 50s are the new… Yeah, you’ve heard this before. I recently caught myself telling my 81-year-old grandmother that 80s are the new 70s. (more…)

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When You Don’t Know What to Do With Your Life

| On Living Well

 

When You Don't Know What to Do with Your Life

 

“I don’t really know what I want to do with my life yet…”

Or

“I’m figuring it out…”

Or

“I mean, I don’t want to be a (fill in the blank) forever. But this is fine for now…”

These are some of the things I’ve heard from young people. And it really gets me down. It’s a trend I wish I could break; they feel like they should wait until they know exactly what they want to do before they take a step in any direction. Years go by and they still haven’t figured out what they really want to do with their lives. Lost time. Lost potential. (more…)

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How to Practice Gratitude When You’re Just Not Feeling It

| On Living Well

Practicing Gratitude

 

Love keeps me up at night. Love and fear.

I lie in bed, eyes shut tight, trying to sleep while love overtakes all sanity. My stomach spirals, my heart gulps, and I try to change the channel in my mind. But every channel is the same: a long stream of terrible things happening to my husband and son. Soon I’m sick with fear that the two people I love the most in the world will be taken away from me or worse, harmed.

If only I didn’t love so hard, I think. (more…)

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