When I was a little girl, my mother told me I was ugly.
Before you get the wrong idea, let me say for the record that my mom is amazing; she is compassionate, creative, silly, and I think she did a phenomenal job raising me and my sister. She was in no way abusive.
She saw a little girl who was about to be handed her worth in the form of compliments. She knew the world would tell this little girl they loved her dress, her hair, and her shoes. So she did the only thing she could think to do – she did the opposite in hopes her little girl would learn not to measure her worth in such limited confines.
According to my mom, every time she told me I was ugly, (more…)
Happy birthday to me!
Today, I’m 29 years old. Wow, where has the time gone?
Oh wait. That’s not right. Let me try this again.
Today, I’m 39 years old. Yes, that’s better. Thirty-nine.
You can understand why I’d be confused though. Because, 30s are the new 20s. And 40s are the new 30s. And 50s are the new… Yeah, you’ve heard this before. I recently caught myself telling my 81-year-old grandmother that 80s are the new 70s. (more…)
When you’re a yoga instructor, you’re a guide. You take students along on a journey. Yes, you’re a ‘teacher’ when you need to be. But you are mostly guiding them. And as a guide, it’s your job to also try to make the ride inspiring – sometimes challenging, maybe enlightening – but mostly you want your students to walk away saying, “That was great. I so needed that.”
My students were recovering addicts. They were going through divorces, career changes, and life crises. They were broken-hearted and they were healing. They were in the middle of finals and dissertations and other hard freaking shit and yoga was helping them get back to themselves.
Then one day, I was in the middle of some hard freaking shit. (more…)
It feels funny like an itchy sweater, or too-tight shoes, or brushing your hair in the wrong direction. You try to pinpoint why things don’t feel quite right. And then one day you realize, Ugh, I hate this flippin’ sweater!
It’s like that when you realize you’re not being true to yourself. Not living authentically results in a disconnect between the person we want to be and the person we suddenly realize we are. It’s uncomfortable, disorienting; it makes us want to rip that sweater right off. (more…)
If you are a creative person, no matter the genre, it’s very likely that you’ve experienced creative paralysis at some point in your adult life. I’m not talking about a creative block. I’m talking about soul screaming, fist clenching, God-save-me paralysis.
Hitting a creative block is like stumbling upon a detour. Usually, it’s unexpected. But if you read the signs, you can likely get around it with just a few turns and not a whole lot of backtracking.
But creative paralysis is like (more…)
How can I sit and write a blog post when there is so much to do?
In any given moment, I feel a pull to be productive and creative at the same time. I want to pamper myself (mostly, because this is what older, more experienced woman are telling me to do) but I also want to organize. Should I do a load of laundry or work on my collage? Should I journal or rearrange my kitchen pantry? Or maybe I should put my feet up…is it considered relaxing if I make a list at the same time? (more…)